October 7, 2025

 So I get off the phone with Amanda and feel like my endorphins are high. I wasn’t hungry, but I chose to eat and not feel guilty. I grabbed an egg bite two beef jerky, a little baby mini cheese and a pickle. I put them in a bowl and I brought them in the room with me where my husband was and all of a sudden I felt guilt and I still ate it. Why did I feel guilt? I just feel like he’s gonna be disappointed because I had gained 15 pounds. but I sat and enjoyed my meal, enjoying the taste of my goat cheese that was in my egg bite, but I did end up. I did tell myself that I was allowed to eat this, but I did feel ashamed eating it thinking it was too late I shouldn’t have ate. I’m disappointing my husband. This might put weight on me, but these are all the things i was thinking